I was recently forwarded an email that contained a list of the 2009 winners of the "Washington Post's Mensa Invitational: Change a Letter, Change a Lot" contest. The premise is you take an existing word from the dictionary and alter a single letter (add, subtract, replace) to form a brand new word with ironic meaning.

Turns out there's actually no such thing as this contest; it's just something people have been forwarding around for years. There's even an official debunking of it on Mensa's site.

Whatever its origins, I think the list is pretty funny and worth noting. There are a few versions floating around, but here's the list (minus a few I thought were inappropriate) as it was forwarded to me:

 
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the  subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of  time.
 
Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax  refund, which lasts until you  realize it was your money to start  with.
 
Reintarnation : Coming back to life as  a  hillbilly.
 
Bozone ( n.): The substance  surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating The  bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the  near future. 
 
Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very  high 
 
Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of  sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
 
Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running  late.
 
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of  getting through the day consuming only things that are good for  you.
 
Glibido : All talk and no action.  
 
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to  seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 
 
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after  you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
 
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your  bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast  out.
 
Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after  finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
 
In this segment "readers" were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
 
And the winners are:

Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs. 
 
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has  gained. 
 
Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever  having a flat stomach.
 
esplanade, v. To attempt  an explanation while drunk.
 
Willy-nilly, adj.  Impotent. 
 
Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly  answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
 
Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
 
Gargoyle, n.  Olive-flavored mouthwash.
 
Flatulence, n.  Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has  been run over by a  steamroller.
 
Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding  hairline.
 
Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified  bearing adopted by proctologists. 
 
Pokemon, n. A  Rastafarian proctologist. 

Oyster, n. A person who  sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 
 
Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up  onto the roof and gets stuck there.
 
Circumvent,  n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish  men